..du crack avec ta mère..

Electro-chemical Stimulation

2008-05-12T11:08:00.004-04:00

"If you know the true identity of London dubstep artist Burial, consider yourself a member of a very exclusive circle. Steve Goodman, who runs London's Hyperdub label, knows-- he cuts Burial's royalty checks, after all-- but if anyone else does, no one has yet had the temerity to out Burial's inner Peter Parker. Read an interview or two with the artist himself, and you'll quickly figure out why he's chosen to remain anonymous. Burial's decision not to let a backstory be a part of the music doesn't come across as a strategy calculated to maximize hype, but just the opposite: a means of keeping the music pure, faceless, answerable only to itself-- a closed system."

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/46887-untrue

Perforate Your Eardrums and Smile at Passers-by

2008-04-03T15:22:00.001-04:00

When I was like 15 all I wanted to do was get older
Now I am, I can do anything I want
I can drink, vote, fuck, drive...
I'm legally an adult.
But I've realized something:
I've never felt more alone.
I've never felt more like a kid my whole life...
you get me?

*makes random farting noises* That is all.

Early-birds' Special on the Sidewalk

2007-12-23T17:53:00.000-05:00

Bug-eyed dolls, the ones with a delicate touch, the ones with a soft voice, the glass eardrums and the glazed nostrils. Taste buds felt up like scars under a skirt. Crawl sideways into the b-b-b-b-b-b...ottle.
Catch flying ice-cream cones with your elephants. GIMMICK GIMMICK GIMMIE MORE.
September ends on another sad note, note how off-key your doorlock was. I'm headed for the deodorant. Comfort.
Six sick fucks, six dix dice players playing with payed-for oxygen, Grandmothers are wondering where they're leaking from. Too many folds, what'll you have for breakfast in 20 years?
Button-mashing never actually wins the fight. Flick morning dew out of your hat.

sWeetheart..:...bitterheaRt

2007-11-25T22:16:00.001-05:00

The spin. It's making me dizzy. I'm whispering secrets to the butterfly nest under my bed. No talk, all flutter. It's understood.. When I'm done drawing orchids on my ceiling, I close my eyes and dream I slip and fall. I wake up right before my head hits the floor.

People Talk - Wintersleep
I'm afraid of men with clocks for eyes
with suits for skin
I'm afraid we've swallowed all our medicine
I'm afraid of God and all his angry clouds
I'm afraid the world will die without a sound

I was just trying to say something beautiful
something meaningful
but you can't live in the world just breathing
beautiful
no, you can't live in the world just being
meaningful

people talk so loud
people talk so loud
people talk so loud

they talk until no words come out they talk
until their brains fall out
_______________________________________________________

[...]
a broken, lonely captain
sailing blind into the distance
[...]
but I was too afraid of monsters at the time

Orchid-eating Kittens and Other Impersonations

2007-10-24T15:07:00.001-04:00

I dragged myself around the living room using my platypus paws. I heard an ant farting in a nearby dust bunny and tried to tell my mom about the obscenities happening under her skirt but my dentures fell to the floor and shattered before I could utter a single word.
**
I got an urgent call from my dad last night saying my mom had gone bonkers and had started destroying the car and house again + tried to kill my dad... again. He told me he's going to get a divorce, he can't take it anymore. As for me, I'm going to have to move back home ASAP on account of my little brother.

... I guess some things never change. I hate getting sucked back into shit like this. Every-fucking-time. You do what you gotta do, I guess...
**

'It's the story of a girl who always forgets everything , she even forgot a boy she was in love with and only remembers the little melody he was whistling.'
**

[.. this part of the post has been edited out..]

+++

Tout le monde se fout des fleurs
De leurs pétales et de leurs feuilles
Tout le monde se fout des mots d'amour
Des je t'aime, des toujours

Tootsie Rolls and Human Sausages

2007-09-04T15:53:00.000-04:00

It's not exactly that I'm not having fun in raves, it's more the fact the I don't see friends in the people I meet there. I show up, have tons of fun talking bullshit and yelling out random things
but in the end, what it comes down to is that I'm having fun on my own rather than with everyone surrounding me.
I realized that at dark matters 2. I hadn't been to a rave in a little while. I had kept to myself the whole night and the last thing I wanted to do was interract with anyone who would strut their candy ass in front of me or ask me what I was up to with huge, dilated pupils.
I felt lost and alienated that night.
I really don't feel like going to Time Machine 2 this weekend. I don't even have one good reason to be there.
I'll go dance my butt off at the K.O. night instead. I like the d'n'b crew and the NTK people. A lot.
And I also learned that I love love love poi. My thoughts clear out. I think about absolutely nothing.

It feels nice.

[we could make human sausages with them! Just stuff all the crushed and squished bits into their own intestines and make people-hotdogs! - fred]

Speaker Love for Me

2007-08-15T12:18:00.002-04:00

This is a story of a young man who visited London for the first time
I heard about this party on a Sunday afternoon
I'd been up all saturday night and I was raring to go
They said it was in Hackney, in an old abandoned warehouse
And I said what kind of music do they play there
And they told me - Tekno
One night in Hackney

ONE NIGHT IN HACKNEY!!!!!!!!!

After walking for hours through the urban sprawl
I finally heard the boom of the soundsystem
And as we turned the corner we saw some strange people - Hangin around
One night in Hackney

ONE NIGHT IN HACKNEY!!!!!!!!!

The music was swirling around my head as I wandered into the darkened building
And as I found my way to the dancefloor someone stopped me and said
Take this pill
So I took it and said - What was that
And they said EXSTACY
And then they offered me a line, and I said
What was that (snort) And they said KETAMINE
SO I took it, and then I took some cocaine, and then some speed, and then some acid and then I drank 15 cans of stella
15 CANS OF STELLA
And I stayed until monday night
One night in Hackney

ONE NIGHT IN HACKNEY!!!!!!!!!
One night in Hackney

ONE NIGHT IN HACKNEY!!!!!!!!!

------------------------>>>>

thank you for this weekend. all of you. :)

oh, and I'm moving to Hugo's place next to Atwater metro at the end of the month. :D :D
<3>

Pleez dun bother me, I iz looking @ pr0n

2007-06-23T13:01:00.001-04:00

(i miss my computer.)

Not to sound emo or anything, but I kind of miss the days where I was high 24/7 and people's ignorance didn't bother me as much.
I'm sick of hearing the same stories over and over again. The same jokes, the same comebacks, the same giddy laughs at the end of a sentence quoted a little too often.

I've been trying to make sure I didn't have the presence of mind to burst in people's faces and punch them in the gonads before telling them they're douchebags and flying away like superman on meth.
Like at Hitched. I can't remember 90% of the party. I was going in between complete k-tard mode to egotistical coke head mode, but that was all after the drama unfolded (because we <3 drama). Funny enough, I had nothing to do with the whole thing, yet I had GIRLS (yes, GIRLS *shudder*) BAWLING THEIR EYES OUT ON ME. I stayed quietly in my corner while rocking back and forth staring at the floor, all the while thinking:'dooon't touch me, get off, get off, shoo, shoo!'

I've been doing coke too often these last couple of weeks. I mean... once a week but considering the fact that it used to be once every 3-4 months...
bleh.
o_+
Anyways.
On a side note, I forgot how fucking retarded having a crush was. The pixie dust has faded, alas..
*sigh*

Alright, no more emo-ness. It's a beautiful weekend, I hope you're all enjoying it <3.

Trap your Cells

2007-05-30T16:03:00.000-04:00

So, like... I'm really bored and I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
*clap*
-clap-

Run in circles.

Paint a Portrait

2007-05-23T02:34:00.000-04:00

Vaginal blood, squirt squirt squirt.

I'm Your Love Bug

2007-05-19T17:49:00.001-04:00

When you have both your feet on the ground it's hard to make a statement without at least turning heads. 'I think the coke's encrusted in the mirror...', is a head turner. Proceeding to smash the mirror to dust might shock a few. Rolling up a twenty, sticking it in your nose, and snorting the mountain of glass, can result in a trip to the emergency room and/or death.
So remember kids, when a firefly sticks its butt in your eye, blink twice.

I Like to Come on Barbie

2007-04-03T17:24:00.001-04:00

Little Bucktooth Annie fed the lepers with some hearts. They ate and ate and ate and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. She blushed and fluttered and smiled at all the flowers. That is... 'til Dunkin Donuts opened up.
The lepers combed their hair and quickly danced out of her life, for Dunkin Donuts may be filthy but it's the place to be, alright? Little Annie's heart was shattered and it leaked out of her eyes.. All she was now left with were echoes of drunken slurs.

2007-03-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

FLANNEL SHIRTS! WE MUST BUY MORE FLANNEL SHIRTS! AND DANCE TO HAPPY HARDCORE MORE OFTEN.
O___O !!!!!
where are my flannel happy hardcore shirts!!!

It's a Small Turf We Live On

2007-03-15T18:57:00.000-04:00

If birds and bees were given lemons, would they make lemonade? I know what you're thinking! But I won't tell you. Sometimes, the wind blows too hard and the rain drops get stuck in the air. Damn Gravity, slacking off again! This is the third time we've warned you this week... If things continue this way, your mother will pop her arteries and synchronize her nerves! >_< Shame shame shame.

shutupshutupshutup

2007-03-06T00:45:00.001-05:00

Mar 5 Cancer: The law of spiritual detachment applies in obvious ways now. By clinging too readily to the outcome you desire in a relationship, you may be blocking something better from occurring. Loosen your grip!

oh come on, now, let's leave deeEe alone.

A Tea Party for my Un-Birthday

2007-02-27T22:24:00.001-05:00

Change. Upgrade! The colors in here were too dark. I'd get a bad vibe everytime I was on my page and that's the last thing I should expect from my own blog.

I scraped the grime and rust off myself yesterday. I went outside. The weather was beautiful and I walked around mindlessly for a good two hours with phenomenal beats swelling up my brain. For the first time in weeks, the creative streak hit me again. The ideas were flowing, flowing, flowing, pouring right out of them pores.
These last few weeks (months, years..) have been horrifyingly stagnant, boring, lifeless. I'd get through my days in a zombie-like state, not being able to form any valid opinion on anything, too careless and discouraged to bother myself with lifting my pinky.

Tonight, I'm sipping on a bit of wine and I'll drink to all of you, to your smiles and to the stars in your eyes. I'll have fun, and I'll finally put those dusty old cells up there to some good use (well, the ones that are left at least) .

Happy Un-Birthday to all of you..! (unless it really is your birthday..)

<3>

Dessine-moi un mouton... [mais ne le deviens pas]

2007-02-24T23:47:00.001-05:00

Only ~Alice~ knows what all the commotion about the hospital nurses was. No person in their right mind would let an 18 year old kid back out into the gloomy, lukewarm waters of the sky high tadpoles after hearing about their master plan involving a spoon, a needle, some heroin and of course, the fatal overdose.
Two head doctors poked at my thought bubbles.
One was concerned, the other said 'you can call your parents to come pick you up if you want.'

I'm not upset, just perplexed. And anyways, it wasn't a for-real type of deal. I know what'll put me 6 feet under and that definitly wasn't it. A couple of demons raped and spat on the pixies in my head.
I don't know.
I guess I'm completely fucking delusional. There's no pot of gold at the of the rainbow, I know that much is true. And I like to think that I already am strolling on the neon colored clouds.

maybe I'm delusional.

I feel out of place.

And sometimes I feel like the Little Prince.

Often I feel like Alice... and the Cheshire Cat's mischevious pearly whites mock me with every step I take.

Who are you and why are you in my life?

Who the fuck am I?

I have no fucking clue what I'm doing here. Why I'm here. If and Why I should adhere to the standards of society..

Maybe I'm born a couple of decades too late?

Where are our generation's beatniks?

Where are the unshackled souls hiding?

Under a rock?
In the sand?

...

Then again, even the beatniks didn't seem to get it right.

I don't know what I'll be doing when I'm 60... 40... 30...
I don't even know what I'll be doing in an hour.

Maybe I'm horribly immature in my way of thinking, but the now is what's important, right? And if I'm not enjoying myself doing something, then why bother doing it at all?
Why spend my life focusing on a mortgage on a house and retiring to Mickey Mouse's Mind Numbing Bed&Breakfast?

No, I don't want to become that.
No, I really don't give a flying fuck whether or not I get a promotion and buy IKEA furniture.

I'm losing interest in comic books and dinner parties.

That's alright. You can call me a flower if you really wanted to.

J'ai vomi dans mes cornflakes

2007-01-24T10:44:00.001-05:00

J'ai vomi dans mes cornflakes (court métrage) par Pierrick Servais

Dans un monde en noir et blanc,
seules les étoiles sont en couleur.

Si les enfants veulent tous devenir astronautes,
C'est pour se barrer de cette terre où ils devront vivre toute leur vie.

Ensuite ils grandissent,
Oublient la NASAA à cause d'un 4,5 en Maths,
écoutent du black metal et vomissent la bière vendue par pack de 3
Ils se haïssent eux-mêmes sans trop savoir pourquoi.
Le lycée leur apprend les modalités de l'échec, de l'humiliation,
de la clope et du suicide.
Ceux qui auront leur bac se ruineront en Malibu-Coca.

Puis le soleil éclaire un peu plus leur chemin
Ils voient un peu mieux l'avenir,
parce qu'il n'y'en a pas.

Ils se psychanalysent eux-mêmes
en découvrant que tout ça ce n'est peut être pas seulement de leur faute.

Alors on se met à faire de la politique : un autre monde est possible.
Le changer serait tellement cool.
Ils achètent des t-shirt avec des étoiles rouges
et trouvent le mot "révolution" très beau.
Ca ressemble à "révolver",
mais surtout à "évolution".
Ils arrêtent de manger du MacDo,
refusent d'être Français,
ne regardent plus la météo.
De toute façon demain, il pleuvra.

Le doute se mèle à leur tentatives veines, forcément
Pourquoi refaire le monde
puisqu'il va pèter ?

Et puis ils se rendent compte que boire une bière fraiche
avec une belle brune c'est pas si mal.
Le regard d'une fille vaut mieux qu'un combat perdu d'avance.
L'amour pas la guerre,
ce genre de conneries.

On emmerde une dernière fois la société
Puis on revend son poster du Che,
cette fille devient notre femme,
la bière fraîche devient notre bide.
On s'entasse dans un meublé qu'il faudra payer,
un boulot puis une bagnole avec l'ouverture centralisée et la clim en option.
On économise pour Noël et un peu de soleil à la plage.
On devient gros, moche, aigri.
Les p'tits cons arrêtent de jouer dans notre pelouse.

Et on se souvient qu'avant on avait des projets
On se souvient...
On était jeune, plein d'idées...
Tout ça pour rien.
Parce que maintenant on attend,
comme tout le monde,
son abonnement au programme télé.

Alors, avant de mourir, on va voir son petit fils
Il veut devenir astronaute

Devient-le, c'est ta seule chance.

Break it b4 it breaks us

2006-12-15T00:21:00.001-05:00

deeEe, I'm tired of you being 'dead'! At least call me so I can hear your voice. I love you very much.
Mom

bump of K please?
Why can't I seem to give a flying fuck about anyone?

stop! for the love of God...
i fought the war, but the war won..
our faces all ressemble dying roses from trying to fix it.

The Police & The Private - Metric

2006-12-08T17:03:00.000-05:00

Get straight and wait here while I try to find the exit sign
When will you stop asking strangers, no one wants what we want
Keep one eye on the door, keep one eye on the bag
Never expect to be sure who you're working for

You're working for the police and the private, the pilots and the pirates
Fingerprinted waiting for the train
The doctor, the writer, the hairdresser,
Felt up and fingerprinted waiting for the train

Lord lord mother we are all losing love
Lord listen lover we are all missing mama
Lord lord mother we are all losing love
Lord listen lover we are all missing something I don't got

There's a place that ends here I know
When they close the gates I'll cry
So tired of never sleeping
The whole world wants what we're on

Didn't make this up I learned, I learned it from a friend
My friend is coming clean, she told me
Keep one eye on the bed, keep one eye on the door
Never expect to be sure who you're working for

You're working for the police and the private, the pilots and the pirates
Fingerprinted waiting for the train
The doctor, the writer, the garbage collector
Felt up and fingerprinted waiting for the train

Lord lord mother we are all losing love
Lord listen lover we are all missing mama
Lord lord mother we are all losing love
Lord listen lover we are all missing love
Got to get out
Got to get to you, the orphanage is closing in an hour

d0t

2006-12-07T13:41:00.001-05:00

the surreal ones always got me with their drunken slurs..

'se defoncer c'est le bonheur'

2 past 5

2006-12-06T02:37:00.000-05:00

Alright.. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, beliefs, outlook on life, -enter other synonyms here-, etc. My way of thinking is not dangerous. It isn't morbid, pessimistic, frightening... I'm not suicidal... Self-destructive at times, yes, but you all live and breathe and feel just as I do, so as fellow human beings, how hard is it to understand the complications involved in an emotional turmoil?

I love quietly closing the door behind me as i go for a long & quiet walk outside at the break of dawn while everyone's sound asleep..
I love how the morning dew creeps in during the night to caress the willows and the grass blades..
I love how, just like a secret lover, it disappears before anyone notices it was ever there..
I love how the sun shines though the leaves and how the wind blows gently under the birds' wings..
I love the moon in its velvet bed..
I love how the diamonds in the water and the sidewalk seem to dance before it's light..
I love lying down in the grass and feeling eternal..
I love seeing children laughing, singing, loving... glowing.
I love noticing someone smile to themselves when they're lost in their thoughts.
I love seeing the sparkle in a loved one's eyes.
I love holding hands and gentle kisses.
I love how everything always seems to fall into place.. from the biggest trainwrecks to the most beautiful and surreal drops of bliss...
and there's no words strong or even precise enough to describe how much I love music.

I'm very much in love with life.. Don't try to prove me wrong. I have my ups and downs, so does everyone else. But I'm not jaded.